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Composting is so much more enironmentally sound, and also it is too hot not to have open windows. You may fetishise the smell of green smoke but the rest of us have been checking our houses for forgotten incense and candles all bloody evening. Also, my jeans, a sheet, a random sock and two of Damian's shirts will now have to be washed again. Cheers, you gonk.

Comments

( 17 worms — Feed the birds )
benchilada
23rd Jun, 2005 22:21 (UTC)
*breathe in...no, wait, don't...*
benchilada
23rd Jun, 2005 22:22 (UTC)
Oh, and I highly advocate SOAKING his crap with water the next time you see it mounding up. Water and Orange Tango.
asajeffrey
23rd Jun, 2005 22:30 (UTC)
Our neighbour has outdoor speakers which she uses for parties in her back garden. Sometimes she'll forget to switch them off at night, then the following day she'll put on "Smooth Jazz Radio" for her dog, and go out to work. We get to listen to it all day, until she comes back from work and switches it off, thus recreating a scene from "The Wrong Trousers". Ta muchly.
cleanskies
24th Jun, 2005 21:21 (UTC)
smooth jazz???
quick, call the RSPCA. Uh ... PETA?
applez
23rd Jun, 2005 22:31 (UTC)
From an environmental standpoint
That's definitely not healthy to breathe in ... all kinds of nasty low-combustion temperature byproducts, even from greenery you wouldn't think was meticulously collecting all the atmospheric nasties. :-/

Mind you, candles and incense are none too good either ... Pb in the wick and all that. :-/
percyprune
23rd Jun, 2005 22:44 (UTC)
I recommend Fuel Air Explosive. Pretty much instantly vapourizes anything it touches, though the blast might flatten the local neighbourhood. Laser guidance is an optional extra.
applez
23rd Jun, 2005 22:49 (UTC)
Nah
I'd serve the neighbour an ashy yardwaste salad...at gunpoint.
cleanskies
24th Jun, 2005 09:20 (UTC)
do you mind?
I live here!
percyprune
24th Jun, 2005 13:19 (UTC)
Oopsie!

cleanskies
23rd Jun, 2005 23:06 (UTC)
goodness!
Americans ....
applez
24th Jun, 2005 04:01 (UTC)
Re: goodness!
Well, I was toying with "...at the end of a blade," but a gun gives you a bit of range if they run. And one wouldn't want them to cut themselves as they choke down the vile salad of their own making. ;-)
cleanskies
24th Jun, 2005 09:19 (UTC)
people who light fires at midsummer
set fire to unexpected things. Around midnight, the smell went really bad. Sort of, "I accidentally set fire to my cold frame" bad. Heheheheh. Plus, a little light rain fell at dawn, and dropped the smoke smell right out of my clean laundry.

My weapon of choice is other peoples' stupidity. Or Christopher Walken, if he's available.
applez
24th Jun, 2005 13:52 (UTC)
Re: people who light fires at midsummer
Oooo...good one. Christopher Walken lecturing the ne'er-do-wells is too precious an idea not to be used! :-)

Could it incorporate the forced 'holding' of a watch? ;-)
cleanskies
24th Jun, 2005 13:59 (UTC)
tsk
always with the violence! I like to think our Chris can do the whole intimidation thing with just a few polite words, a quiet smile, and a distant stare from his cold, dead eyes.
applez
24th Jun, 2005 14:17 (UTC)
Re: tsk
Oh...but he'd make the ne'er-do-well want to hold onto the watch. ;-)
purpletigron
24th Jun, 2005 05:46 (UTC)
There may be local rules against this?

Another radical thought ... talk about composting to said neighbour, offer advice, and if you have space, offer to take the waste and compost it yourself?
cleanskies
24th Jun, 2005 09:16 (UTC)
ah, there are --
We're in a smokeless zone, which means no fires during the day. The whole "a fire every night" thing is presumably some sort of cackhanded protest.

However, after last night he may have learnt his lesson. From the smell, he set fire to something unexpected -- it was far too hot and dry to safely light a fire last night.
( 17 worms — Feed the birds )