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/cluedo

Damn those foolish coffee making people, they're still filling the cafetiere from the boiler designed to dispense single mugs of hot water. THE FOOLS! But I'm not going to rant about that. Or Lordi winning Eurovision (although listening to my dentist and dental nurse debate this did enliven the fitting of my new bonded composite crown no end). Instead I'll go straight for cliche blogging subject #1 -- Dr Who! And specificially, a thought which popped into my head, nigh-fully-formed, as Mickey turned to his alternate self's hott lover fellow freedom fighter and said, "That's Rose Tyler, with The Doctor, in the Tardis". And that thought was: Slash Cluedo.

But you clicked, so you must want to know:

And look, it would work quite well! Let's take six classic objets du slash:

Captain Kirk (Colonel Mustard)
Buffy (Miss Scarlett)
Dr Who (Professor Plum)
Harry Potter (Reverend Green)
Angel (Mrs. White)
Servelan (Mrs. Peacock)

and then add six classic agitateurs du slash:

Rose Tyler (The Rope)
Spock (The Lead Pipe)
Spike (The Knife)
Avon (The Spanner)
Hermione Granger (The Candlestick)
Giles (The Revolver)

Then we just need to slightly redraw the board, space-time, and continuity as we know it:

board for playing slash cluedo - why not make you own?

And we have a fully operational game of Slash Cluedo. No need even to alter the rules. Well, you could probably have a bit of fun with the movement bonuses ...

Good thing I don't own a copy of Cluedo, though, or I might feel compelled to make it. Or think about making it and then make a nice cup of tea instead.

Comments

( 31 worms — Feed the birds )
percyprune
22nd May, 2006 15:13 (UTC)
Hermione as the candlestick? Meow.
cleanskies
22nd May, 2006 15:20 (UTC)
I've always felt the candlestick to be the best of weapons. Decorative, functional, and best of all, utterly deniable ...
armoire_man
23rd May, 2006 16:27 (UTC)
Yes, the dented, </i>blood-covered</i> candlestick...
buddleia
22nd May, 2006 15:14 (UTC)
See, now I want card graphics. Slash fans are so neeeedy.
cleanskies
22nd May, 2006 15:19 (UTC)
good grief
Don't you have a graphics programme? Make your own!
buddleia
22nd May, 2006 15:23 (UTC)
Are you kidding me?
That's why I have a friends list. Having said that, I see a lot of pretty good Dr Who screencaps around. At the very least, I can come up with Sonic Screwdriver and a Professor Dr Plum Who cards. And then I will crawl back under my rock.
crazycrone
22nd May, 2006 15:14 (UTC)
Well, I'm not a slash practitioner, but I think that's utterly wizard.
badasstronaut
22nd May, 2006 15:23 (UTC)
as Mickey turned to his alternate self's hott lover

Glad it wasn't just me imagining that.
girlycomic
22nd May, 2006 15:28 (UTC)
Don't think you were imagining it, rumour is that RDT did originally explicitly have it in the script that Ricky and the other guy were lovers but it got taken out at some point.
badasstronaut
22nd May, 2006 15:49 (UTC)
Ah, but does Mickey think he's going to replace Ricky in every respect?
dougs
22nd May, 2006 18:15 (UTC)
Absolutely not. As he said, "I know it's not easy, me having the same face, but I'm a different man, I'm not replacing him. Fancy going to Paris?"
badasstronaut
22nd May, 2006 18:20 (UTC)
Well, quite. There's a mixed message there. Or perhaps he's merely trying to address Freedom Fighter II's feelings of confusion and guilt about getting a new clone to replace the original.
timscience
22nd May, 2006 15:25 (UTC)
Total genius.

I think you maust make one.
stellanova
22nd May, 2006 15:40 (UTC)
Oh my God, that's a work of genius.
pollitesss
23rd May, 2006 08:41 (UTC)
Yep yep yep. You genius.
benchilada
22nd May, 2006 15:49 (UTC)
Your brilliance is visible across the ocean and half my damn country.
ms_slonim
22nd May, 2006 16:05 (UTC)
Ha ha, awesome. In America, Cludeo is just called Clue.Isn't that pathetic and elliptical? I'm buying a copy in England when I come home to bring back.
badasstronaut
22nd May, 2006 16:20 (UTC)
That's so when you tell an American to get a clue, they can go and fetch their board game.
ms_slonim
22nd May, 2006 18:53 (UTC)
Yeah! and despite being the churchiest country EVER, they've secularised Reverend Green. He's just, Mister Green i believe. i told an american pal about the Rev green thing and he just said, "eh, protestants!"
cleanskies
23rd May, 2006 11:05 (UTC)
clue? rubbish!
I did start to type (that's clue, for americans) but decided they could just figure it out
surliminal
22nd May, 2006 16:16 (UTC)
Oh, you are the star in the heavens :-) I thought myself the line had aweird famiiarity about it but couldnt quite capture it.

I did an "sf con as Cluedo" cover for a fanzine yonks ago. (Well, actually bohemiancoast did it, but it was my idea!.)
surliminal
22nd May, 2006 16:20 (UTC)
ps
er, shouldn't Servalan be Mrs White?
cleanskies
23rd May, 2006 11:06 (UTC)
no no no!
Mrs Peacock because she's proud and likes to dress up. Plus, it's just funnier to make Angel Mrs White ...
andyluke
24th May, 2006 23:22 (UTC)
Re: no no no!
mouth wide open laughter and this is brilliant.
(Deleted comment)
cleanskies
23rd May, 2006 11:09 (UTC)
born of a desperate attempt to make cluedo fun...
Mmm, yes -- it did occur to me that playing Slash Cluedo would be funny but very dull... but Screw Professor Snape, now ...

Hmm, might work even better for Save Doctor Lucky, as that's already set in space. I seem to recall having some issues with the gameplay though ...
radiantfracture
22nd May, 2006 23:01 (UTC)
um, this is brilliant.

that's all.

{rf}
elfwhistletree
22nd May, 2006 23:10 (UTC)
You made me laugh out loud - thanks.

I've linked to this from my very skimpy LJ - let me know if that's not OK - I'm a bit of a newbie with this stuff.

Cheers
cleanskies
23rd May, 2006 11:10 (UTC)
no prob, I'm always fine with linkage. Glad you liked
liriselei
22nd May, 2006 23:17 (UTC)
that rocks so damn hard !
i'm sure i remember seeing a copy of Cluedo round at secretrebel's one summer...
cleanskies
23rd May, 2006 11:12 (UTC)
I get this sinking feeling that I may own a copy shortly ...
( 31 worms — Feed the birds )