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But I'm afraid that it's not good news. Looks like antopolis may extend beneath the house somehow (or possibly into the wall cavity, or behind the boiler -- I'm not sure which would be worst) for I came home last night to discover flying ants spilling up into my sitting room. Niiiice.

Naturally I have done what any cartoonist should do in such a situation and written a comic strip about it.

antagonists detail


( 47 worms — Feed the birds )
9th Aug, 2006 17:34 (UTC)
Ugh, poor you, but you made me laugh. "oh god they're in my minicomics" == fantastically meta. My brain hurts in a GOOD WAY.

And I love the one going 'yay!'.
9th Aug, 2006 20:46 (UTC)
In. My archive. Of minicomics. Going back about 15 years, many my only copies remaining. Oh I yelled loud.
9th Aug, 2006 23:48 (UTC)
Oh, I know, and that sucks. But they're also *in your weekly strip*!
10th Aug, 2006 09:43 (UTC)
I know,
damn their litle insect eyes! I feel so manipulated.
9th Aug, 2006 17:56 (UTC)
Flying ants? I hope they're not termites...

At least they're not


I leave it to you to decide to conduct surgical dismemberment experiments with time-lapse photography on the little buggers, or not. ;-)
9th Aug, 2006 20:47 (UTC)
Nah, just our regulaz. It's their mating season, they grow wings and bother everyone.
9th Aug, 2006 21:22 (UTC)
Time to borrow a hungry pet iguana.
10th Aug, 2006 08:36 (UTC)
too big, too snappy
I want GECKOS.
10th Aug, 2006 12:50 (UTC)
Re: too big, too snappy
Geckos - good idea. They'd scramble all over my family home in Burma. :-)
10th Aug, 2006 13:34 (UTC)
and they're
sooooooo CUTE!
10th Aug, 2006 19:15 (UTC)
Re: and they're
Hmm...sadly, I've been put off the cute factor because of this talking animated gecko selling car insurance with a mixed-regional English accent (vaguely EastEnd, but too clear, vaguely North, but empty of Lancastrian or Yorkshire influences).
10th Aug, 2006 19:18 (UTC)
Re: and they're
FYI: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GEICO

And Wiki uses 'saturation' as understatement.
10th Aug, 2006 21:14 (UTC)
Re: and they're
Oh, that's what all the cracks about car insurance were about. How awful, though to have geckos spoiled for you ...
9th Aug, 2006 18:03 (UTC)
They sort of swarm insanely around here every year for about two days, then they vanish. Of course, I don't suppose that means they're really gone...
9th Aug, 2006 18:12 (UTC)
Happy memories!
Aaaaaargh! Aaaaagh! Aaaargh! I think ants are fine, so long as they're outside the house.

When I was about 12 years old I was plagued by itchy red spots on my body. I complained to my mum that there were bed bugs in my bed. My mum; being the Queen of Bleach and Cleanliness; took this as a personal insult. The argument raged for weeks, with me getting more and more tetchy (and spotty.)

Eventually, my dad, to shut me up grabbed my bed and pulled it aside to "prove" to me my foolish claims... just at the moment when a mass exodus of winged ants was emerging from a nest under my bed.

The little fuckers had been crawling in my bed and biting me - hence the spots.

It's a wonder I ain't ant-phobic after all that.
9th Aug, 2006 20:45 (UTC)
Ok, that's pretty much the most horrible thing in the world ever
Worse than the time I found four centipedes under my pillow. Worse than the time we found the dead weasel my sister had forgotten under the bed for a whole term
9th Aug, 2006 22:23 (UTC)
I found a mouse eating apples underneath my pillow once
also at school. I kept them there as being a handy place, along with my Jacob's Cream Crackers (nibbled with a tidy corner nibble by said mouse). I heard crunchy nibbling sounds and felt under my pillow and something moved, squeaked, and scrabbled away. Disturbing...
10th Aug, 2006 09:23 (UTC)
Re: I found a mouse eating apples underneath my pillow once
Sheeesh! Dead weasels! Mice under the pillow!
Shades of Tom Browns Schooldays or St Trinians?
10th Aug, 2006 09:46 (UTC)
oh, the weasel's easily explained
We had to bring in something to do with nature to show to the rest of the class. It would have been really impressive if she'd remembered to take it into school ...
9th Aug, 2006 21:11 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
Ah there's nothing worse than formication!

(Especially when it really IS ants, we had them in bed with us in Italy)
10th Aug, 2006 09:24 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
The little gits... can't they find their own beds?
9th Aug, 2006 22:24 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
Little fuckers! I found a cockroach on my duvet once (in Brazil) but at least it wasn't biting me.
10th Aug, 2006 08:52 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
OMG. I'm glad you added that (in Brazil), or you'd have had me all vigilant and on edge. For some unknown reason I'm really phobic about cockroaches, even though the more classic spiders etc don't phase me at all.
10th Aug, 2006 09:21 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
You don't want to hear my cockroach tales then? I have a few from my travels!
10th Aug, 2006 09:22 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
10th Aug, 2006 00:13 (UTC)
Re: Happy memories!
am going to sleep under water now!
10th Aug, 2006 16:03 (UTC)
Re: [not so] Happy memories!
Sounds like the time I went to stay at my uncle's in Hawaii and kept waking up covered in insect bites despite the mosquito screens over all the windows. Discovered a red ant in my bed on my last night, and realised they'd been coming in through the gap under the door all night. And a fat lot of good the geckos were. They just freaked me out by coming into the shower with me, but did they eat up all the red ants? Did they buggery.

Mind you, I think I'd take ants over wasps, too. I had what, with the help of my friend being a googlemonkey, I think might have been an Ichneumon wasp fly into my room a couple of days ago. That was pretty nasty. I just don't do wasps too well -- partially allergic.
11th Aug, 2006 09:57 (UTC)
oh, ichneumons are super weird
Although at least they don't tend to last very long indoors. I was changing a light-bulb this morning and it had a tiny red-and-black wasp sat on its underside, in the pose of life. I suppose the heat must have adhered it. Gave me a right shock, especially when it fell off.

Maybe I need a pygmy anteater instead ...
9th Aug, 2006 18:17 (UTC)
I prefer ants to stay outdoors. Apparently there have been ant issues in our building recently. I've not yet spotted any intruders, but our recently departed team member had a bit of a phobia and once found NINE (she stayed long enough to count and then scarpered) on her desk.
10th Aug, 2006 08:40 (UTC)
our office
is more the wasp sort, being in loft rooms.

so that's what the smell is!
10th Aug, 2006 08:49 (UTC)
Re: our office
Ah, I think I'd choose the ants over the wasps.
9th Aug, 2006 19:16 (UTC)
ant ban
perhaps you know a shop or even someone who has a set of essential oils - see if you can get some peppermint essence.

put down a smear of peppermint around the entry point(s) to your home and the ants will not be able to BEAR coming near it

very effective and (if it matters) non-lethal
9th Aug, 2006 20:44 (UTC)
Oil of peppermint will be no bother to source (we've got a culpepers). Thanks so much!
9th Aug, 2006 22:12 (UTC)
Re: !!!!
remember: because you're not killing them you may need to 'refresh' your deterrANT

they're all over ur kitchen at the moment - hardly dare use the chopping board!
10th Aug, 2006 08:38 (UTC)
just for a moment
I read that as "they're all over your kitchen".
9th Aug, 2006 20:02 (UTC)
Havenät seen any ants for two summers now. Before that it was ant march all around for three years. Eventually Baigon seemed to work.
10th Aug, 2006 08:41 (UTC)
Baigon? Sounds like an angry god ;)
10th Aug, 2006 08:50 (UTC)
The god of burnt bagels?
10th Aug, 2006 08:55 (UTC)
:-) Not exactly. Maybe I should have given offering to Tapio, even thought I do not know if insects were his territory :-)

One guy suggested that I should spread dry yeast so that ants would eat it and burst...
10th Aug, 2006 09:54 (UTC)
I spot a logical flaw
You would then be left cleaning up the remains of burst ants. Gak!

Hmm, I can see the problem: "Oh great and powerful Tapio, aid me in my heroic hunt for ants which I shall then kill with chemical spray and hygienically dispose of in a kitchen rubbish bin!" I think he may not be impressed.
10th Aug, 2006 10:07 (UTC)
cure worse than infestation?
Sorry, I was looking for a picture of "DOOM For Ants" (that's a proper name for an insecticide) when I came across a tree-huggers guide to chemicals (at http://www.groundwork.org.za/Pamphlets/pesticides.asp)

BAYGON products, used to control cockroaches, flies, mosquitoes, and lawn insects, have been linked to child leukaemia in a couple of studies. BAYGON is harmful if swallowed or absorbed through the skin. Short-term exposure to some of the chemicals found in Baygon products can cause tightness in chest, sweating, small pupils, stomach pains, vomiting and diarrhea. Baygon products contain Propoxur, which can cause headaches, vomiting, and nausea, and Cyfluthrin, which can cause lung problems, convulsions, asthmatic attacks, pneumonia, muscle paralysis and possibly even death due to respiratory failure.


Recommended (by the same site) for ants: sprinkle powdered red chill pepper, paprika, dried peppermint, or borax where the ants are entering.
10th Aug, 2006 10:28 (UTC)
Mmmm, seasoned ants.
10th Aug, 2006 10:56 (UTC)
Re: cure worse than infestation?
The poison is heavy and dangerous stuff - I had to spread it with rubber gloves and using a breathing mask.
10th Aug, 2006 11:06 (UTC)
Re: I spot a logical flaw

Another version would have been Karelian post-hunt chants - "Dear Queen of the Ants, it was not me who poisoned your workers but the accused neighbour".
10th Aug, 2006 17:21 (UTC)
On the other hand, be grateful it's not this, which spyinthehaus just posted:

10th Aug, 2006 19:50 (UTC)
I've stuck this one up on jeremydennis.co.uk. Delayed somewhat by the hosting services’ having changed the directory layout, so I had to update my files correspondingly...
10th Aug, 2006 21:13 (UTC)
cut and paste woes
( 47 worms — Feed the birds )