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Amid plummeting levels of smoking in young people, the competition to see who can make the best, most appealing, health warning is hotting up. Health warnings need to take up almost half the packet now, and images of sores, cancerous faces and rotting limbs are out and more cerebral warnings are taking their place. This one, of a male model lying very still while made up to look a little grey/blue, is clearly tapping into the slaying and shagging demographic. Don't smoke kids! You could end up being a pretty corpse and scoring with all the frosty girls.

pretty corpse fag anti-ad

This one requires a little more interpretation. Has the slightly anguished gentleman below just received a cancer diagnosis? Is he suffering from erectile disorder? Has he just realised that it's four in the morning and the overnight garage is closed, and he's going to have to vape for his nicotine fix and the only mix in the house is his little sister's strawberry blackcurrant vanilla charm? Maybe he's worrying about hairloss. It's hard to tell, but he certainly looks like an Athena poster somebody had in the 80s.

warning against um...

In other news, there was a festival Oxford called Offbeat. I ended up seeing an experimental rewerk of Figaro starring Kim Kardashian and a woman called Amelia and a farce about a killer robot made of pink wheelie bins in the same night. Happy days!