Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day (cleanskies) wrote,
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day
cleanskies

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migraine diary redux

I got my migraines under control by finding a medication that attacked the squeeze (the neurological/visual effects) rather than the relax (pain and nausea) -- previous medications had actually made me worse! And I hadn't had one for, oh months, because I could just take this super-fast-release ibuprofen and it would smooth itself out. Dreamy.

But friday I was feeling pretty rotten, choking and coughing and snivelling so I took some cold medication. Then I suddenly started getting panicked and cranky in that very specific way. Then I couldn't look at the computer. Then I went home, cursing and squinting and clutching my head (luckily the bus was almost empty) and stumbled down my street and through my door and into bed. All the time with the dose of special migraine relief in my bag I couldn't take because I wasn't going to layer ibuprofen on top of paracetemol.

Still, at least I could burrow under my covers, go to sleep, ignore the updates, meeting and dozen other oh-so-important things I was missing. Ah. No I couldn't. I'd taken day cold cure, the stuff with stimulants in it, to help me through the meeting. So I wasn't going to sleep. I was going to stay awake and alert throughout. Joy.

The grey light seeping in through the mostly-drawn curtains adequately lit the irregular patterns of the artex ceiling above me but it looked like it was crawling, and then sank partially out of focus altogether, long streaks of my vision reduced to fibrous grey patterns like mouldy cotton wool. Shadows began to occlude my peripharel vision, throbbing inwards until they formed a loose arc around the centre of my vision. Then they turned fluorescent yellowish-green, like a highlighter pen drawn over a photocopy. A second shape, an irregular oval of translucent purple then drifted across from the right-hand side and when it dropped over the first they began to cycle, shrinking to the centre of my vision, disappearing and then reappearing at the limits of vision, draining into the centre and then started again. After a bit of that they drifted out of synch and began to develop a line of interference with more severe distortions, and that sense of seeing through the stuff of the world; of hovering on the edge of revelation. There was a glimpse of something pinkish, glue-gooey, and the rift closed and then it was just shadows, like the ones on the landscape under wind-driven clouds, faster, faster and then a stab of pain. I got the cold pad then and started to try and slow it all down and force myself to sleep, out of it. It took a while.

I'm bad again today, but I had the sense to privilege the migraine tablets over the cold cure. Two in two days. That isn't good.
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