While Damian was phoning his father, I was outside playing hack-n-slash with the secateurs. I managed a considerable reduction on the Most Pestilential Bush in the world, while gagging, swearing, and trying to avoid touching any of it (the whole thing is sticky with mealybugs, crawling with snails, buzzing with flies, crunchy with scale, and covered with this brownish powdery stuff -- presumably some sort of fungus -- which seems to affect a lot of the plants in the garden). I still have no idea what it is, which makes it hard to swear at it. Anyone got any ideas? It grows like a weed, has simple dark green evergreen leaves (like laurel or bay, except larger, squishier and foul-smelling) and small cream flowers that smell vaguely of wee.

After that I went off to misspend the rest of Sunday. All the Lord of the Rings figures had gone on sale in Toys'R'Us. There are fun sets of witch kings, selection packs of hobbits. I was being a bad consumer, however, and failed even to buy this.

In celebration of the solstice (and the successful flight of SpaceShipOne) this evening I am going to be drinking spiced cider and trying to build a table-top wicker-man. If all goes well, I'll burn it at midnight.

A reasonable use for garden waste.