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reclusivity vs. tiny crayons

I finally remembered to charge my phone last night. The were some messages on it ... I wondered if I had actually deliberately let it run down, in an attempt to avoid the things I should have been doing at the weekend ... and also to think about why I wanted to avoid them.

For the past month of so, I've been going out progressively less, particularly when leaving town has been involved. I don't think that public transport has been getting especially worse, but I have been finding it intolerable, even for short hops like the journey to Bristol for Comics 2000x, and the train journeys I make for work. I've been going round people's houses less, and even attending small gigs -- a habit strong enough that it made it into this week's strip -- has been falling off. More and more, I'm spending the nights at home, working and working on stuff, most of which will never see the light of day, anyway. And when I do go out, there's a sense of rising clamour that gradually drowns out whatever it is I'm doing; I get wound up, even when there's no reason, and then I start to feel crazy and then overreact, zen myself down until I'm barely there. I'm sick to the back teeth of saying "Don't think, be," to myself. And so on.

Although, on the bright side, as part of my annual review of art materials, I decided to see if it was possible to draw with some tiny crayons my little sister gave to me. Yeah, maybe.

Mood of google: I'm unhappy because I eat, I'm happy because I ate potato salad.


( 27 worms — Feed the birds )
5th Jul, 2004 04:44 (UTC)
Oo, I like the colours in the last panel.
(Deleted comment)
5th Jul, 2004 08:04 (UTC)
gig colours
they make everything look good.
5th Jul, 2004 04:49 (UTC)
I find that I need to balance the going out and doing stuff with quiet times sitting reading or working alone on my own projects. Failure to do this makes me stressed, moody and irritable...
5th Jul, 2004 08:08 (UTC)
and vice versa ...
5th Jul, 2004 05:04 (UTC)
5th Jul, 2004 08:09 (UTC)
panel 5, right back at ya ;)
5th Jul, 2004 05:11 (UTC)
Lovely Strip...
Quite poetic...'Small dreams, fading slowly'. I hear yuh!
...Kiddy crayons greatly underrated implements, I reckon.
5th Jul, 2004 08:14 (UTC)
Though some of them (the ones you gett free from Pizza Hut for example) are completely crap. Crayola Gel FX crayons, though, rival the best pastels -- and make a lot less mess than most. The only problem is the limited palette ... I'd not tried out this lot before, they're from a "mini art kit", a little perpex briefcase containing tiny pastels, miniature coloured pencils and and the crayons. Again, not many colours ...
5th Jul, 2004 05:21 (UTC)
If, (like me,) you're being plagued by an underlying constant stress, then you just don't feel amazingly sociable, and everything irritates you. (Like the tedium of traveling from A to B.) On the other hand, (and perhaps because of this,) you sound like you're entering a phase of intense creativity, which is a cherished thing, and can have it's own magic and pleasure.
This may be a temporary blip, but then, when it lifts, you might start missing the creative intensity. Depending on how you view it, its a win-win or lose-lose scenario, but most probably both either way. :-)
5th Jul, 2004 08:18 (UTC)
you're sooo reassuring ;)
... but the crayons are your fault, you know -- the stuff you posted about life drawing, made me think, it's ages since I've drawn on coloured paper with pastels ... (well, I used crayons, did some very un-life-drawing and didn't throw away my black and white, but apart from that it was exactly, well, ok, a little bit ... er, not it wasn't really ...)
5th Jul, 2004 08:43 (UTC)
Re: you're sooo reassuring ;)
Crayons on coloured paper are yummy too!
5th Jul, 2004 09:49 (UTC)
> you sound like you're entering a phase of intense creativity, which is a cherished thing

not if I'm haring off at great speed in the wrong direction, it isn't.
5th Jul, 2004 11:18 (UTC)
I'm rambling. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, even if you feel you're going in the wrong direction, and feel like crap, you may discover gems, and you can never be sure you're going in the right or wrong direction until you look back (the power of hindsight.)
5th Jul, 2004 07:23 (UTC)

I was greatly overjoyed to see the crayon comic. Waxy colors just GET ME.

5th Jul, 2004 08:20 (UTC)
better in the original
but ain't that always the way --- thankyou.
5th Jul, 2004 07:58 (UTC)
I think I know the kind of TINY crayons you're talking about and believe me, what you did with them is AMAZING!! kudos!
5th Jul, 2004 08:21 (UTC)
they're about 3cm long
If that's any clue. Tiny, and very cute ...
5th Jul, 2004 08:34 (UTC)
Re: they're about 3cm long
Yes!! I have some of them-- they're INSANE!!!
5th Jul, 2004 10:45 (UTC)
I love the combination of child-like colours and moods with distinct/sharp forms and lines! My instinctive reaction would be to think of one of those high-quality children's books illustrations, except for the inclusion of wine. :-) There's no stopping your creative impulse I think. :-)

As for adopting a more reclusive lifestyle - I think we all go through periods like that. Hell, this weekend, I just couldn't be bothered to fly to Los Angeles for an Anime Con ... I preferred the pleasures of street panto (http://www.sfmt.org ), and a house all to myself with jazz music booming. ( http://www.kcsm.org )

5th Jul, 2004 12:31 (UTC)

Have been looking longingly at my cigar box full of crayons. Suddenly have an inspiration for a comic strip. Must keep steam cleaning, though.

Is there room enough in this world for: "Sincere, Albeit Badly Drawn, Crayon Comics" ?

Perhaps after I pre-soak the bedroom carpets, the feeling will pass.
6th Jul, 2004 02:31 (UTC)
take a break
draw the comic

there's room enough in this or any world
5th Jul, 2004 14:26 (UTC)
Is it so bad to want to chill out at home? I'd be chastising myself continually if I thought diong that was a "bad thing", because it's probably what I do most of and what I like doing most of. Are you disappointed about being out less?
6th Jul, 2004 02:30 (UTC)
not "bad" or "good" as such
that if I don't keep on going out after/to things/people I'll lose the ability to do so -- like if you're feeling depressed, the worst thing you can do is go to bed and wait for the feeling to pass -- sociophobe me must keep on going out!out!out! or I won't be able to talk to anyone
6th Jul, 2004 07:15 (UTC)
Re: not "bad" or "good" as such
Get them to come to you? Organise an intimate and exquisite dinner party?
6th Jul, 2004 02:05 (UTC)
Speaking of being reclusive and anti-social:
Are you down the pub tonight? I thought I might stop by and say hello, but isn't all bar one undergoing some kind of 'refurbishment'?
6th Jul, 2004 02:26 (UTC)
it's all refurbed now
and should be open again by this evening
6th Jul, 2004 02:36 (UTC)
Grand; I'll be there about 8.
( 27 worms — Feed the birds )