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First day at work for Miranda the Orthodontist, and she gets me; never mind, I like her, she's deliciously brusque and alarmingly efficient, a million miles from Chris's long, sensitive consultations. She apologises for the heat. That's OK, I say, I'm fine with the door open.

She jabs my gums and I remark aloud that the anaesthetic gel tastes of bubblegum. Oh yes, says Miranda, it smells of bubblegum too. It used to taste like -- what was it, Margaret? Margaret (the dental nurse) thinks for a moment. Berry fruits -- no, Fruits of the forest. And before that, Pina-colada. My mouth goes numb, and Miranda waves a square of green latex in front of my nose. Seen one of these before? she asks, and I say, Hallo, Dental Dam! which perhaps wasn't the most appropriate response, but Miranda takes it as permission to get started.

After my hour or so (damn, she's good with the drill) of lying on my back with latex draped over my mouth, trying not to gag on my own saliva, she commences an heroic struggle with the computer system. Ah, you're a Web Editor, she says, you probably make things like this. No, no, I say, hastily. Nothing like this. Educational stuff.

Wouldn't want to sour her for the follow-up visit next week.


Hot damn! Thanks to this website you can deluge your friends with Instant Bureaucracy. And (following the last post) I've discovered that that's a very difficult word to spell. Up there with committment, really.

It has come to my attention* that I'm not getting enough damn respect at the moment. Maybe I need to change my hair. But then again, maybe not.

I am, however, getting love. Oh yeah!

Also, that Lorna Miller. Isn't she a genius? Check out the rest of her site while you're at it.

* Oxford Bus Company joined in the fun last night; one of their vans tried to run us down against the lights on a pedestrian crossing. Shortly followed by a black cab. We yelled at the minicab following and it stopped. Which has to be a first.


( 1 worm — Feed the birds )
26th Aug, 2004 04:01 (UTC)
note to self
She's not called Miranda, remember? You made that up.
( 1 worm — Feed the birds )