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Not last night but the night before I woke up from being an army medic in a moral dilemma. I was in some sort of black ops section with Robbie Williams in command. The soldiers had been told we were on some sort of mission, but actually, it was an experiment. I had a bunch of syringes on me, just ordinary sharps of the sort you find in public loos or diabetics' handbags, full of this creamy whitish gloop with a faint greenish glow. The idea was that I would inject this muck into the soldiers and we'd get supersoldiers ... Robbie had even found the perfect place to do it, a big church (the whole area had been evacuated, so we wouldn't be disturbed) with plenty of space inside. "Tomorrow night," he said, "Hey, I could sing!" His uniform was unnecessarily tight. Probably bloody Angels, I thought. Trouble was the stuff it hadn't been adequately tested, wasn't safe and would probably do them horrible damage or kill them ... but I was under orders. From Robbie. If I said no, or stamped on the syringes, he'd just shoot me in the head and tell someone else to do the injecting (Robbie had more of the stuff, I knew that). And then they wouldn't even have a medic on hand. He wouldn't listen to reason, so I'd have to somehow come up with a plan where I could put off the injecting without it looking like I was doing that ... I woke up fretting, going over and over my medical kit, looking for something that would help me discreetly do away with Robbie or cause some sort of crisis or help me escape or ...

Three days of peppermint and green tea and unchallenging soup hasn't helped settle my bloody stomach so today I'm chugging Resolve and Lucozade. Nature had its chance. If chemicals fail, I may have to use the dreaded beer cure. When the Resolve kicks in, I shall be selecting my 10-20 for the Grrr exhibition. With the Pet Shop Boys turned way up to drown my howls of bitter derision. Hmmm, I've not heard the neighbours for about a week now, maybe they moved out again. Urghhh. Come on ...

Added Trauma to the list of obscure British horror films I've seen but nobody else cares about yesterday. Colin Firth with PTSD following a serious accident going nuts over his ant-farm, a murdered pop-star and his irritating touchy-feely landlady. The film got a little over-excited about covering the stars with live insects (Colin Firth in a bed full of ants, Mena Suvari with a spider crawling out of her mouth ...) and consequently forgot to sort out some plausability issues, but it was uncosily familiar, all that alienation, shock and grief in a twilight zone of urban decay and bewildering London streetcrowds. Also stars Tommy Flanagan as his mate Tommy. Class.

Right. Time to stop prevaricating.


( 19 worms — Feed the birds )
22nd Sep, 2004 10:30 (UTC)
You know, I was once saving a bunch of naked potato farm slaves, ably assisted my Mr T and a big truck. And I had one of those massive ammo belts slung across my chest. And a machete.
22nd Sep, 2004 11:27 (UTC)
hot damn!
macho Teacake
22nd Sep, 2004 11:29 (UTC)
Naked potato farm slaves! Bring 'em on...
22nd Sep, 2004 12:20 (UTC)
Re: Whee-
To get the full picture you'd have to be familiar with New Zealand politics. The bad guy was a particular prime minister from the past.
22nd Sep, 2004 15:29 (UTC)
Re: Whoa
you had a prime minister who kept naked potato farm slaves?
22nd Sep, 2004 23:24 (UTC)
Re: Whoa
Well, no. But dreams don't have to stick to the facts.
23rd Sep, 2004 03:25 (UTC)
Re: Whew
well, that's alright then.
22nd Sep, 2004 11:28 (UTC)
Well, that's Robbie Williams for you...
Eeee, hurry up with that stuff! I leave MONDAY MORNING, and the Post round here is shite. (Breaks sweat fretfully-)
22nd Sep, 2004 12:00 (UTC)
sorry bout that
it was supposed to be sending on tuesday, but I was 'orribly sick. I'm sending tomorrow and wondering whether registered, next-day or plain first would be safest.
22nd Sep, 2004 14:11 (UTC)
Re: sorry bout that
(Miles here): Where does "sorry 'bout that" come from? I have a recording of a poem of the same name (complete with dropped 'a') by Adrian Mitchell recorded in aid of the miners strike. Oh yes, I go all the way back...
22nd Sep, 2004 15:32 (UTC)
never really thought about it
... although I do have an Adrian Mitchell book -- For Beauty Douglas? so it might be from that.

Great party, by the way ...
22nd Sep, 2004 16:44 (UTC)
Re: sorry bout that
Hm, dunno. It's expensive, but might be worth it for peace of mind to send next-day. Not being all that silly, as it really has got bad around here.
Hope you're fully better, now. I've been kinda crampy and pukey all week; don't think it's just pre-travel nerves, as nearly everyone seems to have some degree of stomach upset at the moment...Weird.
23rd Sep, 2004 05:31 (UTC)
okay it's in the post
on next-day delivery so it should be with you by midday friday, gods willing and a fair wind. Worth it for peace of mind, you're right. hmmm...

According to the Patron Saint index, I should be asking The Archangel Gabriel for help with the post! Seems like a bit of a big gun for a package ...
22nd Sep, 2004 11:48 (UTC)
Okay, three things:

A) Robbie Williams can be in command of me any day. Rrrowr! (s'alright, my wife understands),
B) Which PSB are you hitting today?
C) No beer cure! Whisky cure! Kills everything bad inside of you, although it does tend to darken the soul a touch.

22nd Sep, 2004 12:03 (UTC)
you're weird, mister
a) Did I mention the tight uniform?
b) nightlife and release, with a side-helping of trademark, lowgold and elbow
c) as I'm bad to the bone, whiskey will only make me worse ...
22nd Sep, 2004 18:18 (UTC)
the bbc seem to like Trauma too
the bbc seem to like Trauma too so you're not alone.
23rd Sep, 2004 02:18 (UTC)
Re: the bbc seem to like Trauma too
yes, but ... they did fund it. "A BBC Film", it said at the outset.
23rd Sep, 2004 02:46 (UTC)
what was this?
well, that's just naughty and wrong then.
23rd Sep, 2004 02:58 (UTC)
Re: what was this?
Oh I'm sure it was all quite above board. Left hand, right hand. All that. Pfffft.

Actually (reads it) the review's a wee bit fulsome but otherwise not at all bad and at least doesn't include spoilers ...
( 19 worms — Feed the birds )