That was before I discovered that there were no longer any Redemption videos available, and all the special offers on Russ Meyers videos had long since specialled him out of the shops. To add insult to injury, Cronenburg's small venture into the mainstream was in a (mercifully short) period of deletion, meaning that if I wanted to watch Christopher Walken being normal it was The Deer Hunter or nothing.
The Dead Zone has long since returned to my collection, and I'm not very upset about Up (bad habits and all that) but Valerie and her Week of Wonders has, over the years, built up into a serious grievance, the sort I go on about at parties, and randomly whine about in the middle of the night. It's not that special, a surrealist/magic realist/fairytale piece from Eastern Europe (a genre I happen to be especially fond of) with pretty camerawork and a dreamlike feel, but I liked it, and it was mine.
So yesterday evening when I glanced dispiritedly across the half-shelf of Redemption titles in the new video shop on Cowley Road and there it was, Valerie's serious little face staring out off the cover, I was entranced. Struck dumb. It was here. It wasn't mine any more, but it was somewhere I could get it, and that was enough for me, for now.
I didn't even get it out.
I'm saving it, for a night when I need to feel special.
( About halfway through writing this I was struck by a sudden thought; wouldn't it be ironic if it were available on Amazon? )