October 17th, 2001

2020 lack of vision

This is your life, and it's ending one second at a time....

Hurrah for work. It gives me a great excuse not to do so much. I can't spend days tracking down my sister, I have to get to work. I can't get on with being an artist, I've got to work. I can't sort out the garden, I have to work. And then there's all the things I have to do instead of my job at work. Sorry, I can't write up a series of advice pages for young Job Seekers, I have to explain the concept of e-mail attachments to a co-worker. And I can't get on with meeting the dudes at NGFL because I have to spend another week trying to find out what the ITC department have done with my scanner. Oh, and I simply can't do anything for the intranet, see, I have to look after another new employee without a boss, a desk, or a computer. What I'm actually doing disappears down a long train of displacement, until I find myself doing something utterly crucial, like cleaning my phone, or scraping the sweat-soaked dust from my watch strap. And before I know what's happening I've lost the window to see another Link Officer or talk to someone at ICT about the flicker on my damn (new) screen by spending all afternoon researching where exactly it is you go for reliable information for young people with disabilities on benefits (no, you can't just ask Jeeves*), and not even got onto finishing my socially sensitive cartoon about employment yet. Ho hum. Time to go. Not home, I hasten to add. A meeting. Joy.

* Though, in response, Jeeves does ask me if I want to know where I can find young pagans around the world. Huh.

things I like to do: watch sunlight reflected in a spray of water drops
2020 lack of vision

compassionate leave (me alone)

Shouldn't feel down I have two days off work (compassionate leave from my boss who is very compassionate but seems telepathically to detect when I least want her to call) but somehow I just feel wan and tired maybe it's the thought of the garden waiting for me to peel the dead things out of it and prepare it for winter (if I can fight past the spiders which have grown huge and started spinning webs across the path) or maybe it's that I'm emotionally drained too many maps and bike-rides, had to cycle far too fast to get to my six-o-clock meeting (thanks to my boss and her eerie precision when it comes to bad times for calls) she doesn't call and I miss her (she works miles away, we're not in the same office) and then she calls and I can't talk to her my synchronicity's always off at work poor thing she has a virus that's making her dizzy and fall down, it's in my ear she says.....

things I like doing: eating large fish eggs (even though they don't taste of much)
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