May 15th, 2002

2020 lack of vision

borage for courage, myrtle for peace

Shooting video class. We learn about cameras, sound, lights. Test shoot today, focusing makes my eye ache, god I look ugly in front of the camera, but at least I'm a bit more relaxed this week, since I found the borage in the back garden. Vicky (film librarian at Oxford Scientific Films) wins the contest for most interesting job, even if she did spend all today looking at film of clouds.

A client contacted them with some frames from a film. "These are yours, aren't they?" he asked, and so she spends all day going through their c. 10 hrs of cloud footage, looking for exactly the right clouds. Turns out they were somebody else's clouds all along. Figures.

Her company sig file: "We have a large new collection of fantastically weird underwater creatures. Creatures which bewilder, fascinate and even disgust!
Creatures which surprise as they suddenly appear from their camouflaged background and those which shock with their bright colours. Tiny microscopic plankton, iridescent fish shoals, graceful turtles, ferocious sharks, and mighty whales are all readily available at our usual competitive rates.

And now we can offer you a whole Red Sea collection on High Definition!"
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    chemical brothers

i don't do this often but today I'm in the mood.

notes for Tivo Cute Pet

1. Stereogram Pornographic postcards, with cod-victorian illustrations! Buy them from a kiosk on the Museumplatz (sp?) in Amersterdam. This one is of two naked ladies staring back at the camera, one has scary pubic hair and scarier stare. I just bought this one over the naked man shagging a tuba.

2. The waving man behind Damian is Dan, all the way from Canada for the UK Juggling Convention. You can't see it in this picture, but his eyebrows are dyed constrasting colours, giving him a very strange expression.

3. I'm probably breaking the Tivo brand guidelines by putting the logo on white instead of on a cutesy little black cartoon television with TM next to it. Darn!

4. The things going "sob weep" are my video collection. They're supposed to be saying "sob weep we're obsolete" but I ran out of space.

5. We're watching "Invasion of the Dinosaurs", a late Jon Pertwee Dr Who adventure. I want more unconvincing dinosaur effects. Jon Pertwee wants to drive more landrovers and unconvincingly karate chop people. He's winning, but the end of the episode is coming ...

6. Anchors Away is a musical starring Gene Kelley and Frank Sinatra, much sampled for gay revisionist work A Touch of Scarlet, and featuring Kelley dancing with Sinatra, a little beggar girl, and Jerry Mouse (yes, from Tom and Jerry). Do I need to tell you that The Prophecy III is a DTV freakshow starring Christopher Walken as the angel Gabriel (killed in I, turned human in II, drives down a freeway playing a trumpet in III)?

7. AKA G Force. UK version, as it turns out -- Tiny, Princess, Mark, Keeop and the other guy going all firey phoenix, and 7-zark-7 doing the usual manga thing of making things even more incomprehensible by trying to explain them.

8. Instead of a Dr Who adventure, Tivo had saved a single frame from Sky 1, a close-up manga face, crying and shouting (probably blasting off agaaaaaaiiiiiin!). We identified her from the eyelashes and lippy.

9. Five great episodes later, I was much improved. Really should start work on The Inbetween Affairs Affair.
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    mighty math