July 22nd, 2002

2020 lack of vision

i never learned to do anything properly, i never learned to do anything well

Vast relief. I don't have to go to Bicester and run a cartooning workshop about making rights real for young people on my birthday. I was going to do a session on bullying/gag cartoons but now I'm glad I won't have to. I feel like shit, and (the sort of) teenagers (I fetch up working with) are so discriminatory, cruel and aggressive to each other I always find it depressing. Which is why they need cartooning workshops about discrimination and rights, I suppose.

... workshops can be fantastic (especially when they're stuffed full of talented grown-ups who want to be there), but usually, with teens, they're just frustrating and horrible. They're not interested in doing anything but jockeying for dominance, and when they've got it, using whatever they've got to hurt each other. It's not like this necessarily need stop the workshop (you can still get plenty done round the edges when they're all focussed on their pecking order) but it's hard to really see the work as theirs when all I've got is offhand reactions to things I'm doing to them. I also start treating them like animals, which makes me miserable too.

But then, they've got a point. It's not like most of them chose to come to these things, they're volunteered by parents. And if they're any good they can probably learn more about cartooning by staying home and developing their own style, and if they aren't well, why should they want to bother?
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