In a dream, my sister and I swap hair because she's had enough of having long-long hair. Even though I'm supposed to be looking after it for her in case she changes her mind I can't help hefting it in my hands and saying, "Now, I wonder how much I could sell this for?" Its condition is better than I remember, but it's shorter, unless that's just because I'm taller than her.
Over pizza, I decide that magnetic pole reversal
is by far my favourite apocalypse scenario. I remember reading about it a few years ago when I was reading my J G Ballard disaster books again and again and thinking that a pole shift would herald mutable times, and that perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
Another dream: Ralph Steadman is sat next to me in a theatre hung with black velvet. We're at some sort of charity fundraiser. He sees the corner of a polaroid photo poking out of my coat pocket and pulls it out and looks at it. He tries to talk to me about it but the conversation rapidly becomes embarrassing as I can't remember what was on the photo or why it was in my pocket.
I buy a brilliant new invention from Marks & Spensers, a pre-greyed sports bra. Well, actually, its a combination of antimicrobial white coolmax, lycra (what sports bra is complete without it?) and new synthetic x-static, a nylon yarn coated with "pure silver" (it says here) but from a distance it already has that dingey, been-in-the-wash look. I'm not quite sure why they've coated nylon with silver, but (now my skin's adjusted to the barrage of antibacterial synthetics) it's cool, comfy, supportive, sparkly, mmmm ... though will it last any longer than their last hi-tech support solution, the ultrasonically welded bra? (Now no fun any more.) Those with a further interest in this bra should look for the i>view from x-static sports bra</i> (View from
what? My bust? Sight of, feel of, comfort of sure, but view from
? Is this some sort of dig about resembling mountains?)
Do I really need another distraction? Modern Tales
, the subscriber indy web-comics group that hacked me (and probably many others) off by sending us unsolicited adverts, is publishing Donna Barr's Stintz
, damnit. In proper, story-length chunks. The claim is that it's weekly, which probably makes it worth the subscription fee all on its own ...
A golden moment of spam when among the messages from the Helpdesk about the SAP system and updating Word templates and the Cake Sale on Friday is one with the subject line: Information - do you know how to get free porn?