July 20th, 2006

end of a decade

evil succubi draining mens' manly brain juices

Men! Grasp your manly cods and run for the spare bedroom! Because today it has been exclusively revealed that sleeping with the ladies leaves you stressed and unfit for even simple mental tasks -- while women (the crazy minxes), though they claim that they have more broken sleep with a man in their bed, suffer no ill effects from it whatsoever -- after all (says a leading sleep scientist), what with bringing up children, the menopause and the menstrual cycle, they've obviously adapted to need practically no sleep at all, so (if you're prepared to suffer the dreadful impaiment to your mental activities) go ahead, snore and kick away!

So tell me, Professor Gerhard Kloesch, how large a sample did you base these conclusions on? Eight unmarried couples in their twenties.

I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Eight unmarried couples in their twenties.

No, so that everyone can hear. Eight unmarried couples in their twenties.

Ah.

The 20-day study (ten nights sleeping together, ten alone) also looked at whether sharing a bed made a difference to whether people remembered their dreams. "Typically* women remembered more of their dreams after sleeping alone while men recalled the most after sex."

*This may be a mis-use of the word typically.
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