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not altogether unexpected

The bee died sometime over the weekend. Too cold and too early for insects, even large fuzzy ones like bees.

Poll #450057 the passing of the bee

How should I dispose of the mortal remains of the bee?

Viking funeral.
Air burial on convenient windowsill.
Set it in resin and call it art.
Keep on desk to consult with over planning decisions and absently stroke during meetings.
Just put it in the bin already, Jeremy, you're starting to scare me.

Actually, this is the right way to dispose of a dead bee:

You can leave a personal tribute to the bee here:

Also over the weekend, Richard Herring finally blogged his Oxford gig, meaning I can talk about it. Turned out my guess at 15 minutes for the yoghurt joke was a 5 minute underestimation! I thought he peaked on the joke about lying down on the beach in an attempt to get anonymous sex from confused turtles, but the yoghurt was good, too; captured well the irrational sheer blazing outrage of being judged by random strangers. Mark was beginning to look a bit fidgety before it was over, mind. Being Oxford, the comedians were keen to show off and use long words, which I like; Richard Ince (on first) had clever material and a nice jumper -- he was a bit disappointed at the response to his joke for physicists, but it was about Schroedinger's Cat, which is sort of the physicist's "Why did the chicken cross the road ..."

Also, I had a nasty reminder of why I don't like seeing comedy. It has this horrible effect on my conversation, turing it fast, brittle and performative; it grabs the delivery method of comedy, turning conversation into double act, anecdote into routine, like some sort of horrible orally-transmitted communicable disease. I had to go home and read Emily Dickinson until it died down.

Oh god. I've still got it.


( 28 worms — Feed the birds )
7th Mar, 2005 17:38 (UTC)
Suggest origami boat. Chanting is mandatory;
8th Mar, 2005 12:00 (UTC)
how about a bit of
mournful buzzing? I quite like marstokyo suggestion of a Hindu funeral pyre ...
7th Mar, 2005 18:13 (UTC)
If there is a Viking funeral, thenm it really MUST be filmed. I presume so many of us chose it, because it was most appealing to our collective visual imaginations.
7th Mar, 2005 19:51 (UTC)
Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not see the bee pRon before the burning ship is sent to sea.
8th Mar, 2005 11:52 (UTC)
I'm supposed to have porn
at a Viking funeral? Please explain!

(bee porn would probably be quite abstract anyway, I would have thought...)
8th Mar, 2005 15:18 (UTC)
Re: I'm supposed to have porn
Isn't there the necessary deflowering of virgin sacrifices before being sent aboard the ship to join the burning warrior? :-)
8th Mar, 2005 15:46 (UTC)
how colourful

oh dear me no. We'll just be doing the basic service, I think.
7th Mar, 2005 20:12 (UTC)
Once we found this dead mouse and filmed it "dancing" and such. Gross.
8th Mar, 2005 11:53 (UTC)
would the
freezer thing have worked? Wouldn't I just have ended up with frozen bee?
7th Mar, 2005 20:45 (UTC)
Performative conversation
Yes, it's true, I was getting fidgety, more because I'd budgeted for an 11pm finish to the evening and my poor old legs were starting to complain - if I'd got there early enough to get a seat I would have had more stamina.

We in our family have suffered from competitive performative conversation for decades, as you may have had the chance to observe. A friend who stayed with us for a time even suggested that Baldwins have evolved a third lung, an extra 'comedy lung', which always has breath in it for when you may need to get that gag out a little quicker than your conversational opponent. Our banter has several generations of shorthand. It's terrible. We can't stop it.
8th Mar, 2005 11:54 (UTC)
so you probably
noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Well, that's a relief.
7th Mar, 2005 22:00 (UTC)
Appropriate Tribute
'Kiss my shiney metal ass!' [/Bender]
8th Mar, 2005 11:56 (UTC)
Kiss my fuzzy chitinous arse (or don't, I won't like it and might sting you).

Although under the fuzz, it is sort of shiny, now you come to mention it.
8th Mar, 2005 17:12 (UTC)
Re: surely
Incidentally, ever see the 'space bees' episode of Futurama?
8th Mar, 2005 12:07 (UTC)
responses to your wonderful sugestions
buddleia: Really? How large a book? Do you have photos?
applez, goldleafgoddess: I agree that honey entombment is desperately poetic, but it will leave me with some rather macabre remains. Wouldn't mummification be less, well, sticky?
tenderhooligan: Bees in the bed lead to a world of pain. I speak from experience.
1843: Great suggestion, but don't you think a biodegradable cardboard coffin would be more environmentally friendly?

And thanks for the tributes, I'm touched. Really, I am.
9th Mar, 2005 03:50 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Noooo, it needs to be somewhat durable so you can make tiny maps to the grave, all the while pretending it's actually money or jewels that's hidden and not a rotting bee corpse. :D Don't forget to age the maps so people will be even more intrigued.
9th Mar, 2005 09:35 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
But when the fairy comes, he would swoop it away you see? And he's dead anyway. The bee, not the fairy. Although I can't say for definite about that last assertion.

Clearly you do not need the money! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 13:38 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Dead bees still sting. And I'm not sure I want a strange fairy in my bed ... ;)
9th Mar, 2005 14:07 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Now, that's not what I've heard! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 14:34 (UTC)
have I been the subject of eeeeevil fairy gossip? Oh my!
9th Mar, 2005 16:32 (UTC)
Re: !!!
Not "eeeeevil."

9th Mar, 2005 19:41 (UTC)
Re: !!!
Misguided? Darn it, it was good gossip too!
9th Mar, 2005 20:44 (UTC)
Re: !!!
No, no, "misguided" fairies are far better gossip-fodder!

That implies that they're, y'know..."confused."

9th Mar, 2005 20:53 (UTC)
Re: !!!
AH! It gets better! The cleanskies is a right one! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 20:21 (UTC)
Not at all. Simply find a suitable moulding container (perhaps a plastic container with no-tears clingfilm fitted to that form), pour in half the warmed honey, place bee corpse, pour in the rest.

Let cool ... perhaps put in freezer.

Should be quite non-sticky, hardened, and then you can remove from plastic container, electing to keep the clingfilm around it, or remove that as well.

The only trick is to keep the entombed bee away from direct sunlight and warm areas where the honey seal might melt, releasing the Beloved Leader Bee. ;-)


Also, assuming the honey you have is in a glass jar of some kind, you can place it in a boiling pot to heat it that way. And if you don't want to bother with the pouring and moulding, you can simply put the bee into the warmed honey in jar, using a disposable wooden chopstick to get the bee in at the correct point. Then chill as directed.

9th Mar, 2005 13:01 (UTC)
sorry the bee died. i quite like 'air burial on convenient windowsill', tho i think you should keep the bee around for a while yet - could be useful and they are so beautiful. perhaps you could combine 2&4 - makes 6 huh, so that'd be option 6 i'm going for... recycling of bee via compost heap or garden is also acceptable bee disposal imo. bin is not cool cos it'll take forever for it to find its way home via eventual landfill... though incineration might speed things up, but confuse with plastic. resin is selfish but acceptable, particulalry if you look at it adoringly every day/week.
9th Mar, 2005 14:38 (UTC)
... I'm not altogether sure about
incineration, either. It seems a little too close to a bug zapper for my liking. I'm still undecided ...

Come summer I'll be attempting to build up my bee karma by installing proper bee-homes in the garden. Although leaf-cutter bees already like my garden table ...

did you see ep.2 of the tiny shiny dykes? http://www.alleged.org.uk/jrd/2005/20050301.html One a year, wow. Hopelessly slow ...
11th Mar, 2005 11:01 (UTC)
Re: ... I'm not altogether sure about
*nods re incineration bug-zapper-like-ness*

kewl re bee homes. i was gifted a bee home for my birthday, but haven't put it up yet. i think it's the wasps that strip the wood sliver by sliver from the garden shed here...

thanks for the link to ep.2 of the tiny shiny dykes (i had missed it). i shall look forward to the next installment, but won't hold my breath! (i think i couldn't do that longer than a minute anyway). i see the polyamory subtext is still very evident (or maybe it's just my mind/vision/perception) *smiles*
( 28 worms — Feed the birds )