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not altogether unexpected

The bee died sometime over the weekend. Too cold and too early for insects, even large fuzzy ones like bees.

Poll #450057 the passing of the bee

How should I dispose of the mortal remains of the bee?

Viking funeral.
Air burial on convenient windowsill.
Set it in resin and call it art.
Keep on desk to consult with over planning decisions and absently stroke during meetings.
Just put it in the bin already, Jeremy, you're starting to scare me.

Actually, this is the right way to dispose of a dead bee:

You can leave a personal tribute to the bee here:

Also over the weekend, Richard Herring finally blogged his Oxford gig, meaning I can talk about it. Turned out my guess at 15 minutes for the yoghurt joke was a 5 minute underestimation! I thought he peaked on the joke about lying down on the beach in an attempt to get anonymous sex from confused turtles, but the yoghurt was good, too; captured well the irrational sheer blazing outrage of being judged by random strangers. Mark was beginning to look a bit fidgety before it was over, mind. Being Oxford, the comedians were keen to show off and use long words, which I like; Richard Ince (on first) had clever material and a nice jumper -- he was a bit disappointed at the response to his joke for physicists, but it was about Schroedinger's Cat, which is sort of the physicist's "Why did the chicken cross the road ..."

Also, I had a nasty reminder of why I don't like seeing comedy. It has this horrible effect on my conversation, turing it fast, brittle and performative; it grabs the delivery method of comedy, turning conversation into double act, anecdote into routine, like some sort of horrible orally-transmitted communicable disease. I had to go home and read Emily Dickinson until it died down.

Oh god. I've still got it.


8th Mar, 2005 12:07 (UTC)
responses to your wonderful sugestions
buddleia: Really? How large a book? Do you have photos?
applez, goldleafgoddess: I agree that honey entombment is desperately poetic, but it will leave me with some rather macabre remains. Wouldn't mummification be less, well, sticky?
tenderhooligan: Bees in the bed lead to a world of pain. I speak from experience.
1843: Great suggestion, but don't you think a biodegradable cardboard coffin would be more environmentally friendly?

And thanks for the tributes, I'm touched. Really, I am.
9th Mar, 2005 03:50 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Noooo, it needs to be somewhat durable so you can make tiny maps to the grave, all the while pretending it's actually money or jewels that's hidden and not a rotting bee corpse. :D Don't forget to age the maps so people will be even more intrigued.
9th Mar, 2005 09:35 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
But when the fairy comes, he would swoop it away you see? And he's dead anyway. The bee, not the fairy. Although I can't say for definite about that last assertion.

Clearly you do not need the money! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 13:38 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Dead bees still sting. And I'm not sure I want a strange fairy in my bed ... ;)
9th Mar, 2005 14:07 (UTC)
Re: responses to your wonderful sugestions
Now, that's not what I've heard! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 14:34 (UTC)
have I been the subject of eeeeevil fairy gossip? Oh my!
9th Mar, 2005 16:32 (UTC)
Re: !!!
Not "eeeeevil."

9th Mar, 2005 19:41 (UTC)
Re: !!!
Misguided? Darn it, it was good gossip too!
9th Mar, 2005 20:44 (UTC)
Re: !!!
No, no, "misguided" fairies are far better gossip-fodder!

That implies that they're, y'know..."confused."

9th Mar, 2005 20:53 (UTC)
Re: !!!
AH! It gets better! The cleanskies is a right one! ;)
9th Mar, 2005 20:21 (UTC)
Not at all. Simply find a suitable moulding container (perhaps a plastic container with no-tears clingfilm fitted to that form), pour in half the warmed honey, place bee corpse, pour in the rest.

Let cool ... perhaps put in freezer.

Should be quite non-sticky, hardened, and then you can remove from plastic container, electing to keep the clingfilm around it, or remove that as well.

The only trick is to keep the entombed bee away from direct sunlight and warm areas where the honey seal might melt, releasing the Beloved Leader Bee. ;-)


Also, assuming the honey you have is in a glass jar of some kind, you can place it in a boiling pot to heat it that way. And if you don't want to bother with the pouring and moulding, you can simply put the bee into the warmed honey in jar, using a disposable wooden chopstick to get the bee in at the correct point. Then chill as directed.