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mumble mumble la la

I take it back. It's just as irritating. Well, that blew up in my face. ... and I have to have her explain how she must be in a bit of a depressed mood today as she's just followed Travis with David Grey, and plans on listening to Coldplay next. She may be a bit depressed, but I'm getting suicidal.


( 9 worms — Feed the birds )
19th Mar, 2002 06:37 (UTC)
Oh, she's a poor lamb, isn't she?
You should get me and Neal to talk to her. Then she'd know what being depressed was.
19th Mar, 2002 09:56 (UTC)
Re: Oh, she's a poor lamb, isn't she?

I think the solution is clear: you need to inspire more fear. I suggest bringing in a severed dog's head (in a bottle of formaldehyde, naturally. We don't want to make your office situation _unpleasant_, after all) and leave it on your desk without explanation. Then gradually start adding photos of her (taken _in situations when she can't imagine that you were watching_) to the display, until you have an exciting little shrine. When asked about this, just explain how much you admire her.

And if that doesn't work, ask her what she would do if terrorists burst into the room and said "okay, one of you in this office has to die. Which shall it be?" Ask her this often, with a bright energetic smile.

19th Mar, 2002 08:28 (UTC)
the fact that she's still alive means you're a better person than me.
19th Mar, 2002 09:54 (UTC)
Ask her to stop singing along. Politely, if you prefer, but that is absolutely not an unreasonable request.

If she doesn't stop, have a chat with your boss that she's creating an unreasonable work atmosphere.
19th Mar, 2002 12:00 (UTC)
I love the contrast between truecatachresis' and Neal's solutions to the problem.
19th Mar, 2002 16:03 (UTC)
I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.

Clearly, what I meant to say was:

"No sane jury could possibly convict you now. Kill her quickly before the legalistic bonhomie wears off. You could always store her body in the stationery cupboard."
20th Mar, 2002 16:08 (UTC)
not an option
Unfortunately the stationary cupboard is guarded by many admin staff, PAs and other secretary upgrade types. Extrication of a single biro is enough of a logistic nightmare, concealment of a corpse quite out of the question. Though there is that roofspace ....
19th Mar, 2002 17:42 (UTC)
I was going to suggest following Coldplay with the Butthole Surfers' magnificent album Locust Abortion Technician, but things seem already to have escalated to bloodshed.
20th Mar, 2002 16:05 (UTC)
murder is easy, murder is fun ...
I was thinking the Tiger Lillies Ad Nauseam meself.
( 9 worms — Feed the birds )