Anyway, the hangover has receded, my fear has subsided and New Year's Resolutions must be made.
but first, a look at last year's set
- In relationships that provoke anxiety, work towards estrangement indirectly.
This referred chiefly to family relations, and this I did, all year. It didn't work, or significantly reduce anxiety. Time for a new approach.
- Remember to finish giving away things that are for other people.
Moving house helped here, and I did OK, plenty of parcels and presents sent out/passed on. More of the same next year.
- Keep your hands tucked in.
Literally, my hands are always scraped and scratched and beaten up because I'm careless with them. They're looking OK tonight, though, so I'll call that one kept.
- Stop beating yourself up over walking into things.
Ah, the first one I did very badly on. No progress on stopping blaming/hating self for accidents, embarassments and inadvertals. Oh well.
- If the gap fits, step through it, if the job is doable, do it.
Which I did, and oh, such a lot of trouble I got into. But look! A house, a hedge, a clean kitchen floor.
- Have the escape plan ready to implement wherever, whenever, now.
Failed. In fact, this year has mostly been spent painting myself into ever tighter corners.
- An unrecorded experience is only half experienced.
More a thought experiment than a resolution, and one I've come to disagree with; the relationship is more complex than that.
- Eat less and drink more tea.
Tea is, of course, a euphemism. I've either stuck quite well to this, or stress and late nights have done the job for me.
- Never, ever throw anything away.
This is an impossible ideal, of course, but I've moved closer to it this year, and will continue to do so.
This year's much more brass tacks and practical:
- The little blue diary Last year I caught myself relying on other people's diaries, and this has to stop. I bought a pocket diary to see if I'd use it more than I use the Palm. Any dates that ought to be in it?
- Weekly creative dates I went out too much last year, and my longer-term projects suffered. This year I aim to spend one night a week at home with these. No internet, no IM, no cleaning, no phone, no TV, just me and whatever I'm working on. This night to be Thursday, Friday or Saturday -- otherwise it wouldn't be a proper date. Want to join me? We can stay in seperately together. Easy enough no matter where you live.
- Make a hobby of my house Too much time and energy last year spent resenting DIY, chores, housework, gardening; but it's just a big craft project, really, and one I can surely get my teeth into.
- Host some parties Yes, there were some last year, but the most recent one's the first I've felt really happy with. Now I'm ready to do a few with decent lead-time, themes, and other such lunacy ...
- Sell a few things Oh mumble yes well my finances aren't really holding together. Plus, all those wonderful things! I do love them, but it's likely someone may want them more.
- Get out of town Of course, going somewhere else isn't necessarily going to stop me feeling embattled and claustrophobic but it's got to be worth a try, right? Every month, if I can.
Oh! I almost forgot. Spambot Random8 sent me this set of randomly-generated resolutions this morning:
Base, anger plain brought. Thing up unit say, such, shall. Story
they notice talk, garden, turn great. Create plan those at.
Direct an course spring mean. Make tie day hunt. Toward, sure
small. War no, hot against son. From write long our develop
with. Course twenty tall water, finger their, cat. Give if,
been, clear how warm up. List, new save, direct. Face thick
idea, tree tiny job, yes.
The one about the cat sounds faintly worrying.
*They didn't. Such persistence.