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This morning I got up and staggered to the loo, noted cat, boggled as cat shot out of catflap and into the rain, staggered back to bed, and mumbled something about Teazel's tail being all fluffed up and that there would be a damp kitty in a minute as he'd gone out into the rain.

Third alarm, Tim gets up and moments later I hear a screech of outrage. From Tim, not cat. "Doomshadow!" he says, "In the catflap!"

Doomshadow is cat ten. There are ten cats (who appear to live) in the flat upstairs (the owner claims there are "about six"): Bertie, Bertie's brother, the tabby twins, midget, tiny tom, mr stupid head, cushion cat, cat nine and doomshadow. Doomshadow is large, black, fluffy and has the most malevolent stare I've ever seen on a cat. He is also one of the few cats I know with a tail as long as Teazel's. Long, but considerably more fluffy ...


It's a magnetic catflap, so Doomsy must have shoulder-surfed (tailgated?) Teazel. Twice. Teazel's a bit of a ditz but didn't seem hurt or stressed (bone dry, absolutely unconcerned and full of purr) so maybe he let Doomsy in (it was a wretched morning, and upstairs, if cats are out, they're out). Maybe Doomshadow's not the bundle of evil I had assumed. Maybe he just *looks* like the vicious eyes of night floating in a galaxy of malevolent fluff.

Then Tim points out that he's a long-hair, so that fluffy head doesn't mean he's a tom, either.


( 13 worms — Feed the birds )
10th Mar, 2008 10:31 (UTC)
Paragraph 1, fine.
Paragraph 2, fine.
Paragraph 3, fine.
Paragraph 4, trouble... oh no wait I get you!
Paragraph 5, I don't understand a single sentence, though I may just be thrown by epic failure on the first one.
Paragraph 6, fine.
10th Mar, 2008 10:37 (UTC)
(more specifically I don't understand what information the first one is trying to impart (what's a magnetic catflap? what's shoulder surfing?), so though I understand the others I don't get what relationship they have to each other)
10th Mar, 2008 10:52 (UTC)
> I don't get what relationship they have to each other
Well, that's kind of the question ... sometimes when cats are fighting, one can chase another in fast enough to get through a magnetic catflap before the catch closes, but this didn't seem to be the case. It was more like Teazel had let Doomshadow in, because the weather was a bit shit -- but that's pretty odd behaviour for a cat, so maybe he'd just been rather slow coming through the catflap, and Doomshadow had snuck in behind him. Twice.
10th Mar, 2008 10:40 (UTC)
glossary for paragraph 5
magnetic cat-flap = cat-flap with a magnetic catch opened by a small magnet, worn on trusted cat's collar

shoulder-surfing = following someone with security clearance through a security door

full of purr = (of cats) sufficiently cheerful that they purr slightly when picked up

"if cats are out, they're out" = phrase applied when residence contains no cat-flap and owners are disinclined to pander to cats requests to be let in and out

Doomsy = short for Doomshadow

I hope that clears it up.
10th Mar, 2008 10:56 (UTC)
Re: glossary for paragraph 5
Ahh, cool, I didn't know catflap technology was that advanced! I'd only previously heard of shoulder-surfing as watching someone else's screen (usually at an ATM etc) - I assume that catflap tech is not yet that far!
10th Mar, 2008 11:01 (UTC)
I don't think Teazel's up to remembering a PIN
gneyeah -- wikipedia doesn't back me up on that use of shoulder surfing, so it could be it's only in use in offices where it's a problem
10th Mar, 2008 10:53 (UTC)
Doomshadow is The best Name Evah!
10th Mar, 2008 11:48 (UTC)
Credit to truecatechresis, although he originally coined it for another cat entirely.
10th Mar, 2008 13:28 (UTC)
Uhhh...way too many cats, way too many. All that's missing is a madly-laughing lady, and the stereotype will be complete. ;-)
10th Mar, 2008 13:42 (UTC)
Try a family of four, with occasional visiting young family.
10th Mar, 2008 14:47 (UTC)
I...assume y'all made up those names?

Also, we used to call that "card-sharking" when somebody snuck in the door behind you.
10th Mar, 2008 15:30 (UTC)
Midget and Bertie are real names, the rest -- yes, we made them up.

Card-sharking isn't bad (after discussions, it seems I'm just using "shoulder-surfing" wrongly there) -- card-riding, slipstreaming and tail-gating have also been suggested. None seem quite right tho'
10th Mar, 2008 15:40 (UTC)
Card-sharking was exclusively from a place where we had security cards instead of keys...
( 13 worms — Feed the birds )