It also (bonus) contained many useful lessons for people planning a wedding. Move over, Muriel's Wedding, Four Weddings, The Wedding Banquet, and all its ilk. You have been superceded.
Look at all these marvellous tips I picked up!
- Don't worry about expensive Bridesmaid's dresses -- just dress up a few old nighties with some wildflowers!
- Getting your mum to cook the entire wedding breakfast is not just reasonable, she'll be unhappy if you don't!
- Don't bother telling anyone what you want them to do at the ceremony, just cry and say contradictory things! it'll add to the sense of adventure.
- If the driver fails to turn up, a donkey is an acceptable substitute. Bonus - it will produce convincing tears from the bride!
- Every wedding should feature a coming out scene. If no homosexual relatives are still in the closet, paying an uncle to get off with a waiter is an acceptable substitute. (Bride's mother should pay.)
- Hen's nights - if you're not sure what to do, karaoke with your mum in a drag club is always a good fall-back position.
- If you're planning on elaborate song-and-dance routines (or, indeed, a ceilidh) check with your venue that the floor is suitably reinforced.
- To keep the best man and groom's party fresh, make sure to invite at least one bored divorcee. (Groom's father to pay drinks bill.)
- At all costs, keep your father and his friends away from any old acoustic guitars.
- Pitch correction really can't fix everything.
