The very secret diary of a tiny kitten, aged almost 9 weeks
Day 6: Abandoned! Abandoned! Abandoned! I only have a ribbon, a hat, two balls, a small rabbit skin mouse and a small beeping sound-reactive robot to keep me company. They cannot buy my love with toys! Ooooh this one jingles. Jingle. Jingle. Jingle.
Day 7: Delicious Skin has run away, I have been comforting Furry Chin. He needs a lot of comforting. Am allowed out! Grumpy Puss is grumpy! I laugh!
Day 8: Am on Furry Chin. Intend to spend all day here. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Day 9: Locked in room overnight. I cry! No understand what is wrong with constant pouncing on all things at all times pounce pounce pounce BOING!
Day 10: Have perfected flying ninja leap of doom, am trying it out on Grumpy Puss.
Day 11: Start day with enormous play session with Grumpy Puss. Knew I'd win him over!
The musings of a mature kitten in the prime of his life
Day 6: Small Annoyance trapped in room. I approve. Just wish she'd stop making so much noise all the time. Need my beauty sleep!
Day 7: Small Annoyance is EVERYWHERE. Underfoot, in my litter tray, eating MY food, on the stairs, under sofa, no peace! Must find somewhere to escape. Please! Let me out!
Day 8: Never mind. Just give me treats. NOW!
Day 9: I have adventure! Adventure unfortunately is over three fences, so takes me a while to get back from, as adventure involved leg. Enormous fuss from BFF Boy and Treat Girl when I eventually make it back. Plan to ham up limp for as long as I remember. Ooooh treats.
Day 10: Bat! Bat! Bat! Right, that's it. Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!
Day 11: Start day by teaching Small Annoyance who calls the shots round here. Shall now swagger!