Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day (cleanskies) wrote,
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day

kitty catch-up

The very secret diary of a tiny kitten, aged almost 9 weeks

Day 12: Delicious Skin has given Grumpy Puss his own ribbon. Is blue! Now we can team up and fight the ribbon menace together! So, Black Ribbon, we meet again ... No, Grumpy Puss! I want to be Batman! Nooooooooooooooo oh. He is in verandah. Pout. Behind catflap of mysterious mystery. Pout. Mew mew mew mew...
Day 13: Verandah. Verandah. Is is full of treats and bowls full of ribbons and mirror balls? Does it taste of cheese and gravy? Must. Figure. Out. Catflap.
Day 14: Have figured out catflap! Oh, wait, no I haven't.
Day 15: Tuna's getting a bit boring TBH. Also lacks that dreamy chemical tang it had for the last three days. Kitty wants drugs, hugs and out out out of this damn collar!
Day 16: Ribbon Therapy, Stroke Therapy, Treat Therapy. No understand why I need therapy, am very well adjusted kitty. Pounce pounce BOING! No Grumpy Puss am only playing come back. Pounce pounce pounce BOING! Man I could keep this up allday
Day 17: Am obsessed briefly with stopcock. Then table leg. Oh! Wow! The fridge. It's AMAZING. Staaaaaiiirrrrrrs. Grumpy Puss's moth toy makes me feel FUNNY! Mew mew pounce fall over oops. MEW!

The musings of a mature kitten in the prime of his life

Day 12: In no way was I rolling around on a rug playing with a ribbon at the same time as Small Annoyance. IT DID NOT HAPPEN. Shall now skulk in verandah in state of mild embarassment. Can't remember why.
Day 13: Giving BFF boy the runaround. Demanding treats. Spoil me, I deserve it, just for putting up with this --- argh! Stop pouncing on ME! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
Day 14: OMG rat! So glad I persuaded BFF BOY and Treat Girl to let me out. They don't seem to want to so much since I started hiding in shed and refusing to come back in for hours. A cat's house must have standards, though, and this one seems to have a small speck of fluff in it. As does my water. Change it, Treat Girl!
Day 15: Fourth day of being fed scraps of tuna by Treat Girl. Glad to see there are some advantages to Speck of Fluff. ONLY SOME!
Day 16: No more tuna, but chicken cheesy bites. Also, firmly groomed by Treat Girl, who then firmly groomed Small Annoyance. Bang! Small Annoyance suddenly less annoying. How you do that, Treat Girl? Is it witchcraft? Oh ffs. ENOUGH with the pouncing already!
Day 17: Figured it out. If I sit on the column right outside the door, I can make Treat Girl and BFF Boy worry that I've run away and am never coming back AND growl at every passing cat using my back fence as a highway. Am genius kitten!
Tags: kittens, secret diaries

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