Day 18: BFF boy and Treat Girl FINALLY took catnip moth away from Speck of Fluff. Can I has peace? No, it seems not. Someone is thinking: jump on pantheresque hindquarters of elegant Mr Cat! Is fun! Go away, I no want crazed groupie. Wow. She really did go away.
Day 19: She's back. Bah! But, a good thing! I get to try kitten pate! Is not made from actual kitten, although eating her food next best thing. Grrowmowl, Speck of Fluff. And stop looking at me like that. No, really, stop.
Day 20: Another good thing about Speck of Fluff: I can has upstairs loo. Also, more ribbons. And treats! A bad thing: Dark Maurauder in back garden. I have everything under control (and Dark Maurauder on shed roof) when BFF boy leans out of window to wave. Aaaargh! Embarassing! Dark Maurauder claims he has no owner but I have seen his fat legs.
Day 21: Small Cat is being a bit weird.
Day 22: Small Cat not shut up over night! Good thing too, her small, pathetic mews were cutting into my important snooze time. Also good: I get more extra food! Don't know why Small Annoyance won't eat wet cat food, but I shall nobly prevent it from going to waste, gladly. Later, I get pounced in middle of night. Nobly!
The very secret diary of a tiny kitten, aged almost 10 weeks
Day 18: I FIND OPEN WINDOW! Cannot prevent myself mewing with excitement. NOT TERROR! Delicious Skin calls me back, gives me pencil to chew. TWITCHING TAIL! POUNCE! I may NEVER CALM DOWN! Today has been so exciting! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Day 19: Kitten pate vile. All wet food vile. I eat only biscuits! And treats! And anything Furry Chin and Delicious Skin eat, obv. They won't let me have chocolate :( Am fed next to Grumpy Puss. He's big, and warm. I pounce! He hits me! Is brilliant game!
Day 20: I manage to fully leapfrog Wall of Fur's hindquarters! Finally! Delicious Skin laughs like drain! I like drains! And Delicious Skin! And ribbons! And Grumpy Puss! But not wet cat food, blegh.
Day 21: There are robots, again. Grumpy Puss goes upstairs, I follow. He knows soft places to sleep. Not that I need help! I curl up by him. He does not move! Prrrrr Prrrrr sidle sidle prrr prrr hm! Am confused, if mum is big and fluffy and furry and purry and Grumpy Puss is too then surely Grumpy Puss is mum? Mum! Come back mum! Boing boing boing POUNCE!
Day 22: Grumpy Puss licked my face! He's definitely my mum because she used to do that ALL THE TIME! My logic is inescapable! And so are my pounces!