Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day (cleanskies) wrote,
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day

kitten diaries : the terrible tweens

The very secret diary of a tiny kitten, aged almost 11 weeks

Day 23: A man comes. Grumpy puss hides! I hide! Is exciting!
Day 24: I am a sailor on the wild duvet expanse! There are huge things beneath the surface on which I pounce! And pounce! Damn, pouncing this good deserves an audience. I shall wake up Delicious Skin! She has been sleeping for hours anyway, is probably bored. With baby crocodile noise and purrs! She likes that!
Day 25: I cannot belive how much they want to sleep! Humans at night are boring. Must. Have snacks. Carry me to snacks Furry Chin! Oh, right, you sleeping. Bored, bored, bored. Where is ribbon? Wave ribbon, Delicious Skin! Oh yes, you sleeping. Sleep, sleeep, sleeeeeeeeeep. Oh noes did I say that out loud?
Day 26: Pirate practice! Can now sit on shoulder quite well! Can still sit in hat, too! But only just! Soon I will be vaster than worlds!
Day 27: I think if I could just get to the perfect sleep space I could sleep as long as humans do? Perfect sleep space is between Delicious Skin and Furry Chin, resting against both their backs, under duvet. Is exciting to get there. Sometimes I get to go flying, other times to try out my velcro hand grab. I are ninja kitty but must work on stealth!
Day 28: I have visitor! He is good to sleep on. Zzzzzzzzz. Today I am sleepy. Delicous Skin not so pleased about that, weird. You has been telling me to sleep all week, Delish! Make up mind!
Day 29: Stopped being sleepy very early (or possibly yesterday very late) so woke up Delish to tell her. She was pleased I think! Then early morning wrestle with Wall of Fur! Is invigorating! Again, Wall of Fur! Again!

The musings of a mature kitten in the prime of his life

Day 23: I thought we had done with workmen, but no. Another one, smells of paint, banging, Treat Girl looking haggard. Although that's her fault for not restraining Small Annoyance overnight, mostly. I show Small Annoyance how to hide properly but of course she gets it wrong. Under bed, twit-kitten! Not on top, looking like a furry lemon!
Day 24: Early morning wrestle with Small Annoyance AGAIN. Third time today. Unfortunately only good for one round of treats. Never mind. Small Annoyance, stop that. STOP THAT. Do I have to get slappy? Should I bite your paws? Graughl! I chase! She flees! Hahahahaha!
Day 25: Bored of wrestles now. Is bedtime, kitten. No! "Bedtime" does not mean "pounce on head"! Damnit Treat Girl, I need rewards for this. Rewards!
Day 26: Sleep. Small Annoyance lurks. I miaou. She goes somewhere else. Sleep. All days should be like this.
Day 27: Epic wrestle this morning. EPIC! Also, I go on long adventure. There may be a secret food source somewhere! I am NOT TELLING. Hang out in garden with Treat Girl. She does things to plants, I do things to animals. Is good division of labour. Small Annoyance has started to hunt woodlice! She's not good at it...
Day 28: I sit on Treat Girl's lap and purr. Day of rest! And treats! Less pouncing from Small Annoyance, too. Long may it continue.
Day 29: It. Did not. Continue. Mraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaouuughl!
Tags: kittens, secret diaries

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