Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day (cleanskies) wrote,
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day

kitten diaries : the wrasslin' times

the diary of a small yet fabulous kitteh

Day 30: Fantastic play session with Dlicious Skin IN MIDDLE OF NIGHT! Is awesome! At end I am shut out of bedroom, but worth it! WORTH IT! Even though I got shut out of bedroom. Worth it!
Day 31: Am athletic! Am poetic delight! See my leaps! Admire! Am elegance personifiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied oooops that didn't happen. Heeee hee hee it's funny when grumpy puss bites my feet TICKLES STOP!
Day 32: I can has strokes. Strokes are good. Middle of the night strokes are best. The trick is just to wake Treat Girl a little bit and be in the right place. I no have trick yet. But am working on it! Am shut out of bedroom again. Why this keeps happening?
Day 33: Delicious Skin is unhappy with my eating. Well! I am unhappy with hers! Her food is clearly more delicious than mine, also hers, and therefore I want! Want! Want! Stop objecting Delicious Skin is normal to have issues with food at my age. Wow! Amazing! I get extra bed to pounce on and extra friend to play with! Is girly sleep-over! Am kitten of glee!
Day 34: We hide in Treat Girl's studio together while she rearranges furniture! Is fun for everyone I think. Damn, did we do something today? No, forgot. Whoah. What is THAT???? Nom. nomnomnom. Nomnomnomnomnomnom.
Day 35: I fearless robot fighter! Roomba is no match for me! It bats aside toys one and two but blue ribbon is too much! Blue ribbon is no nemesis, is ally. Black ribbon is enemy! Sometimes I mistake tail for black ribbon but I think no-one has noticed.
Day 36: I am hunting kitten prawns! They no taste good but it is fun biting off heads! Maybe try for a kitten lobster later! Am mighty hunter! Mighty! Um, where'd you go, kitten prawn?

The musings of a mature kitten in the prime of his life

Day 30: Treat Girl complements fur. Does not make up for early morning wrasslin' flying pounces, misuse of MY litter tray or appropriation of my rug. Am more bitter than angry. Ooooh. I can has ribbon. Pat pat pat pat. Pat. Prrrrrrr
Day 31: It is like being trapped in a room with a small black and white furry jumping bean. This is absurd, I'm leaving! Stalk stalk stalk stalk !!! ... OK. That's it. Time for slap down, little one, show me your feet!
Day 32: Oh god, she's been shut out of the bedroom again. I CANNOT SLEEP when she is on the windowsill. Bzzzzzzzzzz. NOT A WINK I ASSURE YOU. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Also, do not snore. Treat Girl says my snores are cute, but she lies. Am not cute! Am a panthar!
Day 33: We lick plates togeteher. We take treats together. We play with ribbon, together. Is nothing just mine any more? Sometimes a kitten despairs. But then there are treats. And prowl. And my secrit food source. And her food. And a sunny windowsill. And strokes.
Day 34: She is taken away in the torture box. I laugh and eat her biscuits! But then she comes back :( Extra noise all morning or I would have sulked in my secret bag of secret. As it is, am forced to sulk on SAME BED as HER. Today is all disappoinments. Wait, wait, what's that, Little One? No, no no, I'll eat that. I'll EAT THAT!
Day 35: Wrassle wrassle wrassle. What a way to start the day. Treat Girl and BFF Boy take apart my Palace of Spiders. Have they made leaping the fence harder or easier? Is OK, don't like taste of spiders anyway. Not like moths. Mmmmm moths. Wrassle wrassle wrassle. What a way to end the day. Go and wake up Treat Girl, Small Annoyance. She likes that.
Day 36: Treat Girl wants me to sit and be stroked on the same sofa as Small Annoyance. Will not! She's been an annoying little pounce all blooming day, am not prepared to snuggle up now. No matter how pathetic her tiny mews are! Am kitteh on high horse. HIGH HORSE!

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