Day 31: She is fighting the Roomba again. Damn fool kitten. I try to explain about ginger growler and inferior black cat and slink kitten but she only lies on the floor and waves legs in air. Shame. Her pouncing shows promise. She could be my strong right paw. If she could only stop pouncing on my head. Just. For. A moment.
Day 32: Garden is mine! Piss off ginger growler. Tried biting her paws today. Is fun but did not make her listen or stop pouncing. Cannot be as stupid as she looks! She turned off Roomba today.
Day 33: She has spent the last half hour clinging upsidedown to stairs. Fool kitten! Is not anyone in house but me and I know you are there. There will be no ambushes! OK, maybe one small ambush. Maybe another. I chase!
Day 34: Wrestle with Havoc Kitty. She is small but fierce! Is good for my cardio, also rear leg flexibility. Is important consideration for cat of my age. Still think she would do good against inferior black cat. Maybe leave ginger growler to me, he weighs at least three times as much as her. If she ever figures out cat flap! Fat chance (fool kitten).
Day 35: Fool kitten likes to carry ribbon round sometimes. Sometimes brings it to me! Fool kitten! Am way too sensible to play with ribbons. She tried to play ribbons with Roomba instead and it stopped. BFF boy will be annoyed. Treat Girl likes ribbons almost as much as fool kitten so she will probably be worried about ribbon. Hope kitten gets over her Roomba thing soon, though.
Day 36: She spent almost. all. morning. miaouing in my face. Annoying thing! I will sulk. But where? I like daybed, but futon is also nice. Or windowsill? Maybe secret kitten bag. Or shelf? Maybe will just have a nap while I decide. Shut up, fool kitten!
Day 37: Idiot kitten has persuaded Roomba to shut a door. I can not open doors, kitten, and I don't think you can, and food is behind door. Also litter tray. It's going to be a long and uncomfortable afternoon...
Day 38: Ginger growler being a cheeky sod. Just you wait, rude cats. Just you wait till Havoc Kitty gets out. She's a whirlwind! A whirlwind! Later: I try to explain other cats to Fool Kitty, but she just jingles and pounces on an imaginary stuff. Fool kitten!