Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day (cleanskies) wrote,
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day

Saturday morning television

Good morning livejournal! I am awake at this ridiculous time of day because of an impending wardrobe delivery man. The sun is bright, the sky is blue, the cat looks mildly annoyed by this, but I'm sure he'll get over it. Speaking of which:

The Very Secret Diary of a tiny kitten, aka Havoc Kitty

Fluffmonster slept on MY bed last night, in flagrant disregard of RULES.
Rules say MY bed between 2am and 9am, his at all other times. Except for afternoon wrassling.
No rules apply during wrassling, WRASSLING IS FUN!
Anyway, softer bed-lump big enough for two so I tolerate! Momentarily!
Then I remember! Wrassling is FUN! Oh noes, duvet landslide! Softer bed lump takes action cruelly! I cry! Then run! Fluffmonster chases!
Chase me Fluffmonster! Chase on the stairs! My favourite!
Oh alright you can lick my paws then prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The Secret Diary of an Older Cat, aka Cat Shenanigans

Weather in unacceptably grim, must sleep on bed for sake of self preservation.
Also curious to see if Attention Span Lass can manage to sleep beside without biting head yet. Also, bed is softest place in house since the time of swearing and cardboard boxes.
Mmmmm cardboard boxes.
My logic is impeccable! Will give Treat Girl a shoulder massage to get her on side. Is late but am sure she won't mind.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now this is comfy. Even Attention Span Lass has uses! She is warm, and somewhat cross. Never mind! The heat of her anger can warm me! I sleep!
Attention Span Lass is nomming my head. I will ignore! She gets bored fast!
OK this is getting annoying. Slap slap bam! No no shhhh kitten do not wake the sleeping bedquake, do not wake it! Do not!
OK. You can make as much noise as you want now. Here, let me help! The stairs make bangy paws extra echoey. You will thank me for this wisdom, small one.
Oi! I said thank, not pounce. You pounce too much, tiny cat! You pounce too much!
I shall lick your paws in cruel punishment! I shall LICK THEM!

As you can see, they're getting on much better now.

... and now it's time for another good idea, bad idea.

GOOD IDEA! Making myself some coffee and toast
BAD IDEA! Recomposing "The Little Red Rooster" to reflect the breeding achievements of parasitic wasps

Now let's have some music!

And now, over to Glum Councillors for news about a Quango that is escaping the bonfire, and a picture of a woman dressed as a glob of chewing gum!

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