This week found me thinking (as the term's reading started - I'm on a book about cyberbullying at the moment) and as I went to visit/wok with/help out various people with complicated lives (multiple children, responsibilities, complexities) about how important behaviour modification is in life. So that's what I'm putting in as the Friday poll -- what do you think? Is better living through habit (or habitat) modification a possibility? Or does it trigger the stress of resistance. Where is the true value coming from? Is it the actions you take, or the proof that you can boss someone around effectively - even if it's just yourself? Without further ado, to the poll. Argue with the questions and share the stories that are too long for the boxes in the comments below. I've kept the theory and philosophy out of the poll (mostly) but feel free to cut loose on all that stuff below. Enjoy!
Do you attempt to modify your behaviour using techniques, behaviour, equipment or other tools?
No, and I don't think it works
0(0.0%)
No, and I think it's ethically dubious
0(0.0%)
No, but I have in the past/will in the future
0(0.0%)
Maybe, but not in a structured way
2(15.4%)
I think it's just a relabelling of normal behaviour
5(38.5%)
Yes, but work and annoying and aaargh
1(7.7%)
Yes, and it makes stuff better
4(30.8%)
I am hacking my neuros as I answer
1(7.7%)
Things that I do to myself:
Sticker charts and reward schemes
2(6.2%)
Mindfulness, meditation, time out, reflection
5(15.6%)
Food and drink nudges (small plates, portion control etc.)
7(21.9%)
Reminders for things other than appointments (e.g.
7(21.9%)
Nagging apps, lists and notes to self
8(25.0%)
Other things which I will say below
2(6.2%)
I would never manipulate myself I have too much respect for myself
1(3.1%)
This smart new habit has totally revolutionised my life!
Things I do with other people (staff, children, pupils, partners, parents)
Make changes to their environment to change their behaviour
1(9.1%)
Use check-lists, forms, and written instructions
2(18.2%)
Use an informal reward system like stickers or stars
2(18.2%)
Use a formal reward systems like bonuses or awards
1(9.1%)
Use distraction or diversion
3(27.3%)
Use threats or ultimatums
1(9.1%)
Other things which I will say below
1(9.1%)
I would never manipulate others I have too much respect for them
0(0.0%)
This crazy trick helps you CHANGE how other people behave - guaranteed!
I use other things to regulate or improve my behaviour, such as
Manipulating my appearance and self presentation to boost confidence etc.
7(18.4%)
Using food or drink to boost alertness, promote relaxation, reduce irritation
9(23.7%)
Using drugs to regulate or improve my emotions/effectiveness
2(5.3%)
Using exercise/physical activity to bleed off or boost energy levels, improve wellbeing, etc.
9(23.7%)
Kittens! (or other pets)
7(18.4%)
Guilt / internalised nagging
4(10.5%)
Another thing I will say below
0(0.0%)
Behaviour modification is:
Brilliant! Sign me up for a Skinner box and bring me all the drugs on the internet
1(3.6%)
Sometimes helpful, but not the answer to all things
7(25.0%)
Irrelevant. Fundamentally people do what they want and post-rationalise.
3(10.7%)
Risky! There's lots of very bad woo to avoid in this area
1(3.6%)
Best avoided, unless a professional is involved
1(3.6%)
Best avoided, especially if there's a professional involved
3(10.7%)
A constant struggle against an impossible mountain of ungovernable urges
2(7.1%)
STICKERS!!!!!!!!!!
1(3.6%)
Unacceptable! Kick back against the man/woman/teacher/cat/computer that is trying it on you
0(0.0%)
The backbone of civilized society
1(3.6%)
The elephant in the room
0(0.0%)
The room in the elephant
3(10.7%)
To be embraced not feared
3(10.7%)
Unnecessary in the future
0(0.0%)
The future
2(7.1%)
The most extraordinary/daft/strange attempt at behaviour modification ever tried on me is:
Profile
cleanskies- Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day
- Jeremy Dennis's alleged literature
Comments
My team leader acted as if she was just as annoyed as the rest of us, until one morning when I got in early and caught her directing the furniture-movers herself...
"You and me baby we ain't nothing but mammals"
etc.
One of my favourite sayings is,
"We're not at home to Mr. Should" - someone recently said, if you hear yourself using should, have a go with "could" instead and see if it makes a difference.
I am rambling . should go and walk the dogs... Aka I could walk the dogs and then they will be less likely to do Protest Neglect Potty indoors. Ahem.
I like "We're not at home to Mr Should". I shall incorporate that it to my armoury against shouldy head. Which I suffer from quite a lot.
Edited at 2014-09-05 17:59 (UTC)
My immediate response was "you're a computer programme. You cannot possibly be sympathising with me". Which wasn't "negative thinking" but a statement of fact.
Edited at 2014-09-06 09:54 (UTC)
I've been looking into body language in some detail for my PhD. Even for an expert, interpretation is fraught with potential errors. Dodgy ground.
On your first point, I've tried this before, and sort of do it most of the time anyway. I found it intriguing.
Edited at 2014-09-06 15:46 (UTC)
(Sorry for the delay, I was waiting for a loose 15 minutes!)
Tangentially connected rant, my mother always claimed that the wretched enforced ballet classes that I loathed were worthwhile as my posture had improved. My suspicion was that my posture had improved because my confidence was higher and I was no longer being bullied, and nothing to do with the stupid ballet. Certainly, the complex horse riding I also did would seem to me of considerably more use in balance and strength (and olympic training style swimming) than the idiotic capering and grimacing of the ballet. I was too young to articulate and reason this theory at the time unfortunately.
Edited at 2014-09-14 09:44 (UTC)
So now, if I have an evening meeting, I choose and lay out the clothes I'm going to wear to it in the morning.
Choosing what future-me is going to wear to a not-very-important meeting tonight is easy. It probably takes about two minutes. Putting on the clothes that past-me picked out specifically for this occasion is also easy. Again, probably about two minutes. I don't ask myself if it looks right - it's the outfit past-me chose, and I trust her judgement, so I'll just put it on and probably not even look in the mirror.